Chibi Gundams Present: GUNDAM NURSERY RHYMES!!!!
by R-Chan Winner T-Chan
Summary: What happens when you combine GW and nursery rhymes??? THIS FIC!! Rated for Relena-bashing and weirdness.
1. Chapter One

Gundam Wing Nursery Rhymes  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I do not own the nursery rhymes mentioned in this ficlet. They are owned by Mother Goose. Warnings: Some Relena-Bashing ahead. Rated PG for some disturbing mental images I had while writing this. Note: Come on, you had to have heard at least ONE of these when you were a chibi!!! Sing along!!!!  
  
JACK HORNER-err, Duo Maxwell! //Little Jack Horner sat in the corner// //Eating his Christmas pie// Duo: **In a corner.** //He stuck in his thumb, and pulled out a plum,// //And said, 'What a good boy am I!!"// Duo: Ah, screw the plum! **Sticks in his thumb.** Mmm! Lemon meringue! ^.^  
  
LITTLE BO RELENA //Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep// //And can't tell where to find them// Relena: **Dressed in a hideous foofy-pink shepherdess dress.** SHEEEPPP!!! I'm right over here so come and GRAZE already!!! //Leave them alone, and they'll come home,// //And bring their little tails behind them.// Heero: **Dressed in a sheepskin jacket.** Not necessarily. **Burps.** Relena: You mean old so-and-so!! **Whacks him over the head with shepherd stick.**  
  
TO MARKET //To market, to market, to buy a fat pig,// Hilde and Catherine: **Chasing an overweight Wufei from the market.** STUPID SEXIST PIG!!! : ( Wufei: Oink. Oink. Oink. //Home again, home again, jiggety-jig.// Trowa: HONEEEYYY!!! I'm HOOOMMEEE!!!  
  
TWO BIRDS //There were two birds that sat on a stone// Relena: Hey. Chirp. Dorothy: Yo. Chirp. Relena: **Begins to sing.** Dorothy: o_O //Fa lalala lel de// //One flew away and then there was one// Relena: **Continues to sing.** //Fa lalala lel de// //The other bird flew after, and then there was none// //Fa lalala lel de// //And then the stone was left alone// Stone: Boo. Hoo. Hoo. ( //Fa lalala lel de//  
  
GEORGY PORGY //Georgy Porgy pudding and pie// Treize: **Finishes a bowl of puddin-n-pie.** //Kissed the girls and made them cry// Une: WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! //When the boys came out to play// G-Boys: Hai!! **Wave.** Gundams: Vrooom. //Georgy Porgy ran away.// Trieze: Eeeeep! **Runs away.**  
  
HUMPTY DUMPTY //Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.// Zechs: **Sitting on a wall in the Libra.** Heero: Omae O Korosu //Humpty Dumpty had a great fall// Libra: Kablooie. Zechs: **Falls.** //All the king's horses// Horses: Neigh!! **Hold up Superglue.** //And all the king's men// Men: Neigh! **Hold up duct tape.** //Could not put Humpty together again.// Noin: **Thinking.** I could Humpty that Dumpty all day!!!! XD  
  
HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE //Hey diddle diddle, the Quatre and the fiddle// Quatre: **Playing 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia' on the fiddle.** Meow!!! ^.^ //The cow jumped over the moon// Relena: MoOoOoOoOoOoOoO!!!! **Pillots a spaceship over the moon.** //The little dog laughed to see such an explosion.err, sport// Heero: **Breaks out detonation button and blows up the moon and Relena.** MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! //And the dish ran away with the spoon.// Duo: **Batting eyelashes.** Hey, baby, wanna go to Vegas and get hitched???  
  
GIRL WITH A CURL //There was a little girl who had a little curl// //Right in the middle of her forehead// Relena: **Sporting a new 'do.** Hey, everyone, I got my hair done!! Pagan: **Shudders.** Heero: **Shudders.**' Dorothy: **Shudders.** Random Maids and Servants: **Shudder.** //When she was good, she was very, very good// Relena: I think I'll go make world peace today! : ) //But when she was bad, she was horrid// Relena: WHAT?!?! ALL YOU FREAKIN' LITTLE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE A QUEEN'S HAIR?!?!?!?! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!! :-O  
  
The End!!! T-Chan: **Sweatdrop.** I'm sorry, I was bored. Chibi Duo: You made that obvious!!! Relena: I have never been so bashed in my entire life! Heero: I doubt that. Relena: Well...ummm... T-Chan: But I swear to Gackt, I'll never make you do chibi song parodies again!!! FORGIVE MEEE!!!!! Wufei: **Playing with Barbie dolls.** Duo: I think someone wants to stay chibi. o_O 


	2. Chapter Two: The Insanity Continues

CHAPTER TWO Well folks, you wanted more? You got more! This is chapter two of Chibi Gundams Nursery Rhymes! They may not be as good as the rhymes I made up before, but hey, this is my muse's day off. Well, anyhoo, enjoy and remember to-HEY!!!! WUFEI!!!! STOP LIFTING UP BARBIE'S SHIRT!!!! YOU CAN'T SEE THOSE YET!!!!!!  
  
THE THREE LITTLE KITTENS //Three little kittens lost their mittens// Quatre: NOOO!!! MY FAVORITE MITTENS!!! Duo: I'm glad I lost those sorry lumps of wool. They weren't black. Heero: Hnh. **Shoots mittens.** //And they began to cry.// QUATRE: WWWAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! :'( Duo: Boo. Hoo. Hoo. Heero: Hnh. //'Oh mother dear, see hear, see hear! Our mittens we have lost.'// Quatre: MOMMY!!!! I'VE LOST MY MITTENS!!!! Relena: **Hugs him.** ^.^ It's okay. Duo: That THING is my MOM?!?!?!?! Heero: Hnh. **Shoots Relena.** //'You lost your mittens, you naughty kittens! Now you shall have no pie!'// Quatre: I didn't lose mine! I just can't FIND it!!! Duo: .we have to have mittens to eat pie?? Heero: **Being spanked by Relena.** -.-; //Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.// Duo: **Looks up at the sky.** You have a repeating problem or something?? Authoress: No! It's in the nursery rhyme!! //The three little kittens found their mittens// //And they began to cry// Quatre: MITTENS!!! **Hugs his mittens.** ^.^ Duo: I still don't like these mittens. Heero: Hnh. **Rubs his butt-which as a huge band-aid on it.** //'Oh mother dear, see here! See here! Our mittens we have found!'// //'You good little kittens! You've found your mittens. Now you shall have some pie!'// Quatre: Yummy! Thanks, Mummy! **Eats pie.** Duo: Whatever. **Throws pie at Authoress.** Heero: Hnh. **Shoots pie.** //Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.// Duo: I DO think you have a repeating problem. Authoress: Shut up. //The three little kittens, they soiled their mittens// //And they began to cry.// Quatre: Umm..I think I've soiled more then my mittens. Duo: Thank God. Now I can get rid of these annoying things. Heero: Hnh. **Shoots soiled mittens.** //'Oh mother dear, see here see here! Our mittens we have soiled.'// //'You naughty kittens, you've soiled your mittens! Now you shall have no pie.'// Relena: **Spanking Heero again.** Heero: Hnh. Duo: **Looks at watch.**Enough with the freakin' pie!!! Quatre: **Sniffs.** My..my mittens.. //Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.// Duo: Now I'm SURE you have a repeating problem! Authoress: **Looks thoughtful.** Well.it could be a Meow Mix commercial.  
  
NUMBERS //One, two, buckle my shoe// Quatre: Someone tie my shoelaces! //Three, four, shut the door// Doorbell: Dingdong. (The witch is dead..) Heero: **Answers it.** Relena: HEEERRRROOOO!!!!! Heero: **Slams door shut and begins shooting it.** Duo: o.O I thought the rhyme said 'shut' not 'slam.' //Five, six, pick up sticks// Trowa: **Picking up sticks in the woods.** Why oh WHY does Cathy have to make soup over an open flame?? I could be playing Mario Brothers right now! -_- //Seven, eight, lay them straight.// Duo: Straight?? **Sweatdrop.** Authoress: **Rolls eyes.** //Nine, ten, a big fat hen.** Relena: BAWK BAWK BAWK!!!!!! **Ten minutes later.** Heero: Yes, Kentucky Fried Chicken? Hey, I have a present for the colonel.  
  
LITTLE BOY BLUE //Little boy blue, come blow your horn// Duo: **In a farmer's outfit.** Why can't it be little boy BLACK??? Authoress: You're supposed to be asleep. //Come blow your horn.// Duo: Will a tuba, trumpet, French horn, or saxophone work for ya?? //The sheep's in the meadow// //The cow's in the corn.// Relena: MoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!!!! **Eats popcorn.** //But where is the little boy who looks after sheep?// Duo: He's hitchhiked to South America to get the heck outta this rhyme. //He's under the haystack, fast asleep.// Duo: **Under a haystack.** Sorry, I don't sleep. Authoress: Ever? Duo: Ever.  
  
THUMBKIN //Where is thumbkin, where is thumbkin??// Heero: I shot him. Duo: He got away from this craziness, like I should've. Trowa: .. Quatre: He's probably asleep somewhere where there's no war. Wufei: THE WEAKLING RAN AWAY?! INJUSTICE!!!! //Here I am! Here I am!!// Heero: **Shoots the little bugger.** Duo: Run, little guy, run! You can still get away! Trowa: . Quatre: Thumbkin, you want some tea? Wufei: He's so weak he's making me sick! **Barfs.** Authoress: I'm sorry, these boys aren't behaving, so on to the next rhyme! **Glares at G-Boys.**  
  
LONDON BRIDGE //London bridge is falling down// Heero: Because I planted explosives under it. It's really an OZ base. //Falling down, falling down!// Duo: .She DOES have a repeating problem! Quatre: A bridge is falling?? Is everyone safe? Was anyone hurt?? Who made this faulty bridge? I'm gonna sue 'em!!! //London bridge is falling down// //My fair lady!// Relena: Rebuild the bridge, and get me a martini! And put one of those little umbrellas in it! ^.^ Heero: ..She's FAIR?!?!?!?!  
  
TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR //Twinkle, twinkle, little star// //How I wonder what you are.// Heero: Sorry about the star affect. It's really me blowing up a colony. Duo: It's the apocalypse! I'm going home!!! Trowa: Don't know. Don't care. Quatre: It's really a ball of gas burning a billion miles away! Wufei: It's not Nataku, so who cares?? //Up above the world so high// //Like a diamond in the sky// Heero: I said it before, it's a colony blowing up. Duo: **Writing his will in case anyone survives.** Trowa: .. Quatre: Diamonds? I've got dozens of them! Wufei: A high diamond? Great, now there are jewels on crack! //Twinkle, twinkle little star,// //How I wonder what you are.// Heero: **Takes deep breath.** When missiles hit high-resistance glass, there's an effect that's like a star burning. Duo: It's gonna kill us all! Why are you SINGING about it?!?!? Trowa: ... Quatre: Either you want gasoline or a diamond. Which one?? Wufei: Weak little stars.  
  
ROW YOUR BOAT //Row, row, row your boat// //Gently down the stream// Duo: **In a boat.** I hate rowing!!! **Whips out paddles and begins slapping the water.** //Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,// //Life is but a dream// Duo: I hate this boat AND my life!! Both are nightmares, if that's what you mean!!!  
  
  
  
THE END!!!!!! T-Chan: Hope you like it!!! ^.^ Chibi Wufei: **Sets Ken doll on fire.** T-Chan: Ladies and gents, we have a pyrokinetic in the making here! Duo: You mean like that movie Firestarter? T-Chan: Kind of. Well, review and tell me what you think!!!! 


End file.
